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The Blame Game

 

My Mommie (L. Boogie) refers to me as a "swatter"...

Someone in her eyes who let's go at times she believes I should fight. Oddly enough to me, I definitely consider myself a fighter. I just don't believe every situation requires a fight where she does. Example:


When I divorced my ex husband, we owned 3 homes together. These were homes that I decided we would purchase every year, and use those as investment properties. Every year we'd buy one and one day they would be our retirement plan, and one day, a legacy we would leave for our two sons. We had 3 by the time I decided to divorce him. Sold two after the divorce and kept the first one which was the best investment of the 3 at that time.

I didn't fight for the home because he needed a place to live when we parted, and I didn't need the income. Eventually he used it for his own purposes - to house some of his workers for his business - and only he benefitted from it over the past decade since that divorce.

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L. Boogie felt that I should fight to sell it or get half of the profits from it over the past 10 plus years since parting ways. In my eyes, this wasn't a fight worth engaging in. It would require constant fighting, which inevitably affects my sons in an already super charged breakup. I didn't need the money. And I knew that my sons would eventually own this home and all the equity one day. My sons benefitting from this investment was always my end goal, so it was never important to me to fight for half of the profits.

 
 
 
 
 
And while he used the home to grow a million dollar business, I never focused on what he would have. My sons' names are literally on the building. In the end, they are the ones who stand to thrive from the results...and I can always get my own money. So it wasn't a fight I wanted to take on. Swatting.

Fast forward to my layoff. L. Boogie felt I had a class action case against my previous company. She felt they'd used me to build their Silicon Valley company during the era of Black Lives Matter and DEI initiatives. And as soon as they reached $100M in valuation, they were done with me. In my eyes, regardless of whether I'd been used or not, I thrived from the knowledge I gained. From the salary they exposed me to...and I helped thousands of people who otherwise would not have reached 6 figure salaries in their lives without the program achieve that as well.

There was no way I would even consider something like that. Swatting.

What others see as swatting, I see as seeing the bigger picture. Seeing the good in the moment, using that to thrive and elevate myself from all the good I did experience.

I don't focus on what some may see as negative in a situation. The reality is that there's always a downside in every situation. Or as I like to say, "an opportunity". I can spend my life focused on blame and lack, focusing on any perceived negativity...or I can take what I got and do better, grow, and thrive in my own pursuits.

It's easy to get stuck in the blame game...but that's not a game anyone can win. Not even me.

I can spend my life in revenge or bitterness mode - or I can keep moving onward, to greater things that are more aligned with what I truly want...joy, love, abundant and accessible mindset practices.

What I know is that I've never missed out on anything.

I've never wanted and not received.

I have never lived in lack.

I don't spend my life worried about what I may have missed out on, or feeling ownership over things - not even my sons.

I prefer to live in the present and the promise of the future.

When you are creative, determined, humble in your heart but diligent in your pursuits - you never go without. You never miss out on what is for you.

In my marriage, my divorce, and my layoff...all of those events led me to greater life experiences and opportunities, because I am limitless.

If being a swatter means I hold compassion for others in my toughest moments - I'm for it.

That kindness and thoughtfulness has only created a life that for me feels free and full of joy.

Ask yourself...are you in a place of blame, anger, hurt or regret?

Do you feel hopeless or lost when it comes to the goals you have and the things or scenarios you felt you lost or were taken advantage of?

I challenge you to a shift in mindset.

Take control of your own life - because you'll never control the behaviors or intentions of others.

In the 12 week planner I give you the resources to go about your life swatting!

When you do, and I can say this from experience...you don't lose time or energy and resources focused on things not meant for you.

You never lose because you focus on the opportunities vs. roadblocks.

No one has the freedom of struggle, hardship or pain of uncomfortable situations at some point in their lives.

What you do have - is infinite possibility.

Infinite opportunity and talent, gifts and resources...to live your absolute best life.

No matter how many setbacks you encounter.

And that's my word for today.

Grab your planner and I'll show you how to transform your life in just 12 weeks.

It's why all those perceived setbacks were needed for me to be able to share my process with you.

Get it here.

Love you. Mean it.

XX, PoshTori